The doorbell rings, your not expecting anyone? Do you answer? Maybe you look out the window, or peek through the drapes. The blinds are closed off and you do not really want any visitors. Your tired. Tired of everything, tired of the purposes of life, but the doorbell keeps ringing, what do you do.
This past month has been hard on you, hard on everyone. “When will it end” your mind says. “when will I get relief the body chimes back”. “Soon” your thoughts comment as they check off the box that says do not disturb.” I want to be alone” everyone says at the same time.
That darn doorbell. Can anyone else hear it screaming, “open up, I wont go away.” But no one else can hear it. No one can see the figure standing at the front door waiting to be let in. There is no one that can answer that door but you. There are others here but why are they not listening to me. Why cannot they see Im being tormented by that person at the door. Ring, ring , ring is all I can hear. Its driving me crazy. “Just go answer says one thought, no stay where you are”, says another. Will someone help me make up my mind already. “I cant do it alone.” I yell to anyone that will listen. No one does, they are too busy lamenting and closing their eyes to the truth.
“Ok, give me a minute”, I finally say to whoever is out there. “I will be with you shortly.” I know, I say to myself, because as I look around no one is even paying attention to me. Its time, I remeber making an appointment on this day but I didnt realize it would come so soon. “I will be right with you, just let me get up and look around one more time.”
Everyone is all of a sudden paying attention to me. Did I burp, or maybe I accidently farted. Oh well at least now they are awake and listening. I get up out of my chair, invisable to those who gather around, and head to the door. As I look back I am still sitting there with my eyes closed. Someone reaches out and holds my hand. It comforts me and gives me courage. One foot forward I tell myself. I let the thoughts in my mind float away as if they are in a fsast moving river. I seem to replace them with memories of the past. Childhood dreams and such. It feels goos to get up and walk to the door, I feel free.
The door stands before me. Im not sure if I want to open it? I look back seeing all the people in the room. everyone is sad, but seemingly I am not. I want to open the door, I and excited to do so and lt that bell be quiet. My hand reaches out and I feel a warmth come over me, someone elses hand is holding mine. It expresses love and joy and a desire to finally let go.
My body lingures somewhere else, my heart beats a few more times, I open the
door and my soul greeets the person in front of me. I turn back with a wave of delight as I cross over the door into my new life, with one breath I am gone.