We went for a walk today with good intentions. Both of us on a different page to begin but both of us having the same intention as to get out for some fitness. My day began with a foggy head and I wanted to walk alone yet how can I deny someone the outdoors when they invite themselves in. I could have bowed out and rode my bike but I decided to walk with him convinced of conversation.
The sun shined, the walkabout not crowded we started out knowing that we had to decide on a route. I was easy so I let my partner tell me what he thought he could do. So onward to went.
What goes wrong when it goes wrong can and will go wrong. Our minds were on different things, things important to the welfare of our being and we were oblivious of the depth of this. I love to converse, to be open and honest about what Im passionate about. My partner is more of an analyst taking what I say to the next level. Somedays I can understand him and other times like today all I wanted to do was walk. So a small insignificant set of words began a many block confrontation of childhood rearing.
I tend to be loud when Im passionate and he has super hearing which makes my voice a little irritating at times. I know that yet when passion comes in who cares about loudness. So you may say sounds like a fight, no it wasn’t. a.fight but an exercise in listening. We are different, as we all are emotionally, both in how we were raised and how we feel about things that can irritate us. We both shut down.
Where did we go wrong? We forgot to listen. Listening is so important. Information passes through us and sometimes that is not heard. I know he feels passionate about certain things and he too knows this about me. We all carry passion around in our pockets and so we also carry a past that ignites, like match, to fire. Listening really listening is the water awaiting to be poured.
So how can we have a conversation with someone who doesn’t hear us? Understand we cannot. I didn’t hear and neither did he we were both caught up in our own stories, and about being not heard.
Is there a moral here? Of course there is morals are all over the place. Take a step back and when your intuition tells you to have alone time, for me it was my own fitness, I dropped my own ball by inviting him in when I knew he was in an altered mood. The second thing I did was invite him into a conversation that I knew I could not win.
Our day ends on a great note as always. I was silent for awhile then we reinvented.a new conversation that we knew we could both handle and let go of a loss loss no one would win and be happy about it. I ended up realizing that I wasn’t listening and maybe I should have heard him.
So when we listen and get out of our story we hear. Maybe just maybe we hear a new story with a happy ending or learn something new about someone we never knew.