I have a headache. Not from a physical ailment but from all the stuff I seem to have crammed into my mind. My brain feels like Swiss cheese. Open holes for all the BS I have allowed to filter into its deep pores and linger. Some holes are small, minute crevices where insignificant thoughts hover around trying to gain entrance into the part of me that holds core memories. Instances of inconvenient nature where I decided to go along with someone else’s opinion. These thoughts linger only long enough to cause a problem yet as soon as the problem is re-thought they can go away, melt down or become minuscule .
Some holes in my Swiss cheese mind are larger and more porous. They have the ability to hold a lot more information and for an infinite amount of time. The older the cheese the longer a memory mimics our personality. I have all kinds of holes really and all kinds of realities.
My quest and question is whose memories are they and did I create this cheese brain? What if my immature self brought on the possibilities to make this Swiss? Because of our openness to be our parents we understood not another kind of understanding (cheese), but a story with unrealistic meaning? Can we be thoughts without holes, unattached to the realities conjured up by others, and held on by our subconscious minds? What if the stories and memories we acknowledge are built on stories our parents told us as young children? The burdens they carried, the desires they held, the worries they imbedded in our minds before we were old enough to realize, whose thoughts are these?
Swiss cheese. Swiss cheese minds containing stories from everyone and everything. Its time to melt the Swiss cheese get a bunch of croutons and have a fun-do!
If I could have my brain back, my mind emptied and rebuilt by my own ideas, beliefs and abilities as a child I’d be an astronaut traveling the universe without a care in the world. I’d build a better planet with humans that cared because they too are like me. We would have our brains open and free and not hard wired through the opportunities of those older than us to continue to create their world and not ours.
No more Swiss cheese.