I’ve Been waiting for this day for a few weeks. Yes it has been on my mind as to how it would turn out and did it matter, well I guess it did.
Moving into a new neighbourhood can be exciting and daunting at the same time. I am familiar with the city as I’ve lived here before but not in the community I’m in. It was big decision to move from the valley, which I grew to love, to a harbour city in which I have always had a love hate relationship with. It mostly had to do with my children who wanted their mom to live closer. “We will be able to visit more” was the taunt and I bought into it. Yet that’s not the story, it’s just the background.
I am almost there in liking it here. We live within the industrial corridor and it’s eclectic. Different people come and go literally from those that have to those unfortunate that do not. Its’ a old neighbourhood with a vision to stay the same and not go condo ballistic.
So now that I have set the background for the story I will get to the meat and potatoes. We live in a small building of 14 units all owner lived and we have been here since March. We have been saying since then we should have a meet and greet with everyone and until today it has not been done. No that’s not the story either, so hold on. About 3 weeks ago we were told it was one of the neighbours birthday and we would be invited up for whatever it would be. Ok, sounds like the beginning of knowing someone in the building so I said yes. All good. I think we had been told a open house just bring something and a drink. Ok again all good. I was excited.
Today comes and it’s time to head up. No expectations, I did know them on a one time, “Hello can you let me in I forgot my key.” Yet today would be a, to tell the truth kinda meeting. His wife told me her excitement as both my partner and her husband, the birthday boy, were both veterans and “lifers.” All good. It would be interesting for sure. We knocked on the door and we’re let in. Oh boy we are the only ones to arrive. In fact the only ones except another tenant younger than us, no one else came. 4 people, the wife had stepped out, and what to do about a conversation. Disfunction into function. Someone had to take the lead, so I did. I knew it would be hours of conversation about the military but I jumped in. So…………. tell me you’re story.
I offered round some app’s I had brought and settled in for a 2 way conversation. All good. I know I have said that too much and I do apologize but all good. A unlikely group of people from different walks of life are now gathered together to hear stories from people they may never had known. This is a great story.
We live and we learn. We could never learn unless we take chances. I took a chance today to get out of my comfort zone to learn about someone else. To hang with a different generation of persons and get to know their story. Ask people over, ask people you may never ask over. You will never have a better time. It was awesome.
It’s raining again and it’s getting cold. Life on the west coast can be like this. You either have to be a seagull or a duck to live here. Cloudy days, grey rain and darkness for days on end. Instead of the fog that rolls in, in the morning and rolls out at night we have rain that rolls in, in October and rolls out sometime in April. Life on the west coast. The Pacific Northwest, wouldn’t want to live anywhere else though.
During this time we have a routine. Besides getting out the rubber boots, rain gear and mittens we also call up the cable guy and have our cable upgrade for those long wet nights. We then do it again in the spring when the weather upgrades’ the sun begins to come through and my bike gets tuned up. This time though it’s in the opposite direction, we downgrade to minimum channels for the summer months. I’m sure we’re not the only ones that do this, when the bikes and hiking boots get put away the couch potatoes come our way.
I think by this paragraph you have guessed I’m not a raining day gal. I do admit I have my favourite seasons and this time of year it’s not. There is not much to grey skies and downpours, yet I do admit I’m still outside hiking around most days. Today the cable guy came, you’d think Christmas is tomorrow and we now have more channels than we know what to do with. Choices come easy packages do not. What do we watch tonight? The wind is howling, waves on the shores, boats bouncing about in the tides and rain coming down.
I will once again get out the hat give everyone a few minutes to go over the guide, write out their nomination and have the neutral person, me, pick one randomly. What will it be, hockey or old movies, animal kingdom or space? Warm blankets, hot food, great company I think that’s all that matters. Everyone will eventually get their turn. We have 6 months to get through all the channels be all that we want to be before Spring comes around again.
So it’s soccer Thursday. Every Thursday, and it’s my day to take my grandson to soccer practice. Bouncing balls, kicking legs, little tikes running around pretending to be their favourite soccer star. Yup soccer practice for the not so timid.
We live on the west coast and soccer is an all weather thing. Theres no ah it’s raining better cancel. We suck it up put the big boy/girl pants on and go stand on the side lines. There’s no complaining while the young ones run around and get wet, not in front of them anyways. Why are we complaining? We have a choice to stay in the warm car and watch from a dry place while the children look over and give us the not so clean thumbs up. We drag them there, tell them to tough it out while we don’t.
This isn’t my first rodeo as soccer mom. I raised two boys who also were dragged to practice from a warm house into their rain gear and out out to get muddy and wet. Ask me why and I will give you the general answer because….. that’s what we do. Soccer is an all weather sport and it makes you tough. Blah blah blah.
Don’t get me wrong I’m a soccer fan. I’m also a baseball fan and a hockey fan too. I have all the necessary gear for the sidelines, especially since I’ve done it before. I’ve learned to dress, layer, and remember the forgotten water bottles as well as bring the handy dandy gadgets for compromise if there’s other’s not participating. There’s small tents now to sit in with blankets. No more running around to keep warm.
So soccer Saturday is around the corner. Three kids, three games and a hockey Sunday as well. I will come armed with coffee in my mug, blankets for the little ones and a downloaded movie. I will be prepared to hear the too young to play say, as they do frequently, “Grandma I’m bored, can I have your phone/IPad to watch a movie.”
It’s all good on the pitch. I will look down and smile and without words I will say sure because what they don’t know yet is, their turn is coming.
We can begin upside down, inside out, left to right and right to left. Thoughts are like roads we walk-on, paths we follow or the directions we have through a map. There are many ways of looking differently, yet to realize this we also have to visualize the question. “How do we change the mind to accept new thoughts?”
We have an idea, (our road) as it rounds its way through the path of decision and indecision. We understand that we have thoughts, interpretations, beliefs, yet again to change the path, the idea or belief is like trying to hard wire our electricity box when we are not even an electrician.
Black and white, dark mode, white light we see only grey. Standing on our heads we see different yet we soon see the same. We always figure it out. Yet what we have to do is erase the path, the minds ideas of self preservation and actually see things differently. Believe that we can do better, be better and think in better ways. Can we be more positive, get out of our way and love more?
I say if you have a road the you go down, a path you follow and can see what’s ahead, instead of moving forward move to the side, get off the path and stand still. Be a watcher of your own destiny as it goes by and decide if you like where it’s going.
Sometimes we can see our future from where we stand in our past. That is the present moment where all things are neutral, where the truth is pure and realized because we do know if we look at it differently we can see our world as it really is.
Peace out and be right here, right now and feel freedom form within.
Happy Thanksgiving Canada. What are you thankful for?
I wonder if we could just be thankful we are thankful. Say thank you to everyone and everything. There is no, I am thankful because….? Just “THANKS” for the moment, the present, the now. Tomorrow will come sooner than we want it to. Can’t hold back time, tell time to take a minute. Find more seconds before the next thankful comes along.
Let’s enjoy the people, the places and not the desires and expectations we all become thankful for. I be me, you be you and thanks for that.
Does one size fit all? When it comes to people can we say this? If we can are we saying we are all the same when it comes to thinking, doing, becoming?
Is it assumed that our neighbours should think, believe, act, the same way as the whole does? That they should think the same way, understand it the same way you do? What about the people in your house? Our parents, our partner, our children do they count as being the same or different. Can we acknowledge them as different mind, having other thoughts than you do? Have we raised individuals or clones one generation to the next?
Why would we want one size to fit all. We come from diversity, as much as commonality. To honour another for their difference is being able to say you too are a unique being on this planet. To be able to think, create and be as you choose instead of following a concept that doesn’t fit, is that truth?
Are we that afraid to stand up and be counted? Are we that self centred that we want everything to be like we are? Are we that wounded that the bandage will never come off. I definitely do not want to wear a size that doesn’t fit. Yet we are told one size fits all.
I am until I am not! Then I am again. If I am me then who am I? If I change I will no longer be me, that makes me afraid.
To be anew makes me different so I am not me I am a new me. I don’t know you? Who are you? I am me you may say yet who is me? I am.
I am until I am not then I am a new me, a not me, can I see me? I am no longer. I am a believer in change. If I can change me can you change you? If you are no longer you who are you? Will you say to me, “If I am no longer me, who am I?”
It’s 11am and I’m home. I can call it a day off, a rest day, mental health day but what I really want to call it is a “Get out of my head day.”
Sleeping is so relaxing because on one end your body is immobilized and healing and other the other end, I can say the head end, we are out of our minds. When we have a good sleep we wake up relaxed and ready to conquer the day. We have been out of your mind and in some fashion being who we really are.
We are creatures of habit, habits form our waking hours, actualize our day and create the lives we live. It’s like playing poker with ourselves, none revealing their hand, afraid to do so in case one may loose. Should we care? I thought so yet after thinking about it I had decided it better to just lay down the hand I am given and proceed accordingly. Is it about winning or loosing in a 24 hour period? Makes we wonder.
Am I out of my mind? I’d like to so, because if I am maybe I actually have a chance. Do I care about what I have left to do, of my life. Do we need to reconcile where we have been (the past?) Do we walk directly into the path of the future? I think we need to not think so much, because if we pay attention to where we have been the future we just run us over without regret. It will then be us once again regretting a past that we had not recognized.
So today I decided to get out of my head and into the realizations of what I can do differently to change up the pattern. “The pattern is the pattern” yet we can change those patterns we all have and develop a mind richer in who are are. We can let the what we are become the focus of how we live out our lives in a more respectful way. I’m talking about loving ourselves more.
All I have to do is move over to the side of the road, view what I want, the career I have, the relationships I have and let life do the rest. Then instead of getting run over by the future before I see it and letting the past push me around I get to see clearly who, what and how I run my life. Run away I say and find yourself a winner to the experiences you have and not a participant in a race you never signed up for. So here I am and there I go. Ready, willing and able to be me.
Writing is my filter and today I do it differently. I will let you know if I get anywhere.
So a funny thing happened today. Let me fill you in a little bit so it makes sense. I tend to run off at the mouth and then I will get this dumb look from others as I realize I hadn’t taken into account they were not there. So from the beginning……
About a month ago I was involved in a conversation with my friend about another person of interest. The conversation was about how this one person, I will call A, was mad at the other person whom I will call T because of unanswered texts. I listened half hearted at a menu of reason why T should have text him back right away. “Was it life or death” I asked as he stood before me eyes glaring. He wanted reassurance that he was right and T had wronged him. The text was a few days old at the time so I asked him to retext.
Life goes on, yada yada, and I completely forgot about the texting conversation until once again I heard the story from A. It had evolved as he tried to text him again and to no avail had he returned it. Now I heard other questions coming form my friends mouth. “Do you think he’s mad at me? Could I have done something to offend him?” I didn’t know, how could I yet I was being asked to relate to him a story he wanted to hear. I hadn’t talked to T either. (Oh see I already forgot to tell you he lives in the same building as us.) I suggested he go upstairs and knock on his door. No that wasn’t an option. He was offended. I shrugged my shoulders and just said “that’s what I would do, there must be an explanation.”
Now it’s about a month later and the conversation had never come up so I thought it was resolved. We were walking up the drive after our fitness and we saw T driving toward us with another person we knew. He rolled down the window and waved to me but seemed to ignore A. Now I thought that something was definitely off. A walked on and T said nothing more than “Hi how is it going to me.” Another question was why and I soon got the answer from A in another speech of the same old thing.
Let me continue yet the story could go on forever but it didn’t. Today as we were parking I saw T across the road by his car. I was determined to get to the bottom of this and it would be now. So I walked up toT and noticed A hang back. I asked him the same question that had started this whole menagerie hoping for some kind of reconciliation.
Guess what, he had text him. Lots and lots of text in return to the original. He too was upset because of no response. OMG. Two grown men and they couldn’t walk up or down to meet the other half way and ask the question “Whats up.” So they figured it out and like two little boys sauntered away happy as they could be to enjoy each others company leaving me to carry the groceries without help.
Words have it, I don’t. Sentences can relate to a days activities, I can’t always understand. Who am I?
To write a paragraph means I have to sit down and explain to myself those things that I sometimes want to forget. Maybe I choose to remember the good times and devalue the not to pleasant. Who am I to say? Anyone can write down a story yet is it true.
Words have a better relationship to language than we do to ourselves. We are who we think we are but are we? Define it in words, express it in a sentence, believe it as you read it. Word has it!
Sign it with your hands, sing it with your voice, pen to paper or phone to text. Word up makes you happy or sad.
WORD. Worthy, Organic, Radiant, Delightful. Tell it like it is. Worthless, Ordinary, Regretful, Depressed. Who am I? Better check the dictionary and find out. WORD OUT.