In Defence of Human Nature.

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I should start by saying Defiance instead of defend. We are human in nature, we are the epitome of human nature. Yet instead of defending it we are in defiance of the Nature of what it is. Should I try to define it here?

What is human nature? Is it molecules chained to an evolving DNA? Is it cells defending what it doesn’t recognize causing havoc through disease? Is it the fact that we have a bigger brain? Sometimes I beg to differ. Is it the fact there isn’t a food chain that we can recognize? There needs to be a new order of balance that can replace the old order, that is severely unbalanced. Is they’re something, that can defend Natures honour if we do not?

I don’t really know how to figure this one out. A apart of me wants to go one way and the other another. On one side we have the feminine energy which I believe is Mother Nature. She nurtures us, shares with us her bounty sometimes puts us in our place. The male side of us retaliates by squeezing out her energy, taking her land for bigger buildings and not understanding how nature works. We are becoming an extinction and we don’t even know it. One day our wells will be dry and our land will be so barren nothing will grow. No amount of technology can fix what Nature provides. I see a day coming when we will eat everything plastic and so preserved it will look similar to cardboard. If there is food to grow it will be laden with cancer causing chemicals and our children will be sick before they are born.

I hadn’t meant to rant this yet Thanksgiving is coming and what are we grateful and thankful for? I’m grateful that I can see this and understand that this male dominant energy, ( not men necessarily) is nothing more than abuse. It begins with not only being more respectful of what you throw away yet not to overbuy. Can we choose to eat more home made, without boxed or preprepared meals and take care of the essence of who we are. One day and maybe not in our lifetime this earth will either be gone or look like the science fiction horror movies, like Blade Runner.

I love this planet, and I want Mother Nature, our Nature to survive. I choose not to defy Human Nature yet to Defend Her Honour.

Fear Of Failure

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Roads less traveled are the roads that lead directly to success. Most of the roads we decide to take are the bumpy ones, full of potholes and failure.

Failing is falling off a cliff into the unknown. Fail is an impass. A mountain road closed due to avalanche. How long do we have to wait and how many detours do we have to take to find the clear intention to succeed?

Fears make for failure, fear has us running in circles, fear is the thought of failure with a capitol F. Failure and fear are brothers in arms, they go hand in hand down the garden path until they realize all the crumbs they put down to find their way are gone. Now they have to rely on their self worth and their knowledge to get them home safe.

We seemed to have lost something these past years. Lost in translation, loss of worth and dignity that says sometimes failure is the right answer because you are in the wrong classroom. I’ve said before that sometimes failing is a blessing because we learn about ourselves hen we fall down or fail. It’s about the getting up and the keep going that makes it all worth the journey.

I’d like to take Fear and Failure and replace it with due diligence. Take the journey, have a road map, make revisions along the way by looking at the map from time to time. Make use of all the knowledge you have to turn up the positive and turn down the negative when it comes to inner voices. Sometimes all we need is patience to correspond to the hurry up we all seem to be listening to. Giddy Up, go faster, don’t think about it, just do isn’t always the answer. Sometimes we have to do the homework and respect our choices as avenues for change. The change though comes through the challenge and with out challenge we have no change.

Don’t fear failure, look it straight in the eye and say “I know you” and this time I understand.

And The Winner Is

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Hard to say, harder to think about, hardest thing ever done.

How do we know who is the real winner these days, when everything is doubtful? The amount of indecision around the truth makes me aware of who really wins? The days of taking someone for granted is long gone, we question everything. Each word, each breath inclusive of how they breath and everything else in-between becomes the outcome. Sometimes that outcome takes so long we can’t remember what the question was. What were we going for anyways?

I have forgotten who wins and who looses because winning means everything. I used to believe that I wanted to win yet when I lost I thought about being better next time, doing it differently or making change. It seems today winning is winning and nothing else matters. Lies, cheating and belittling is just a part of the game of winning. If your not good at it then don’t get in the game because it’s not about loosing its about being faded out, forever.

We used to think things over, debate and have conversations over the truth. Building upon things took a few ideas and not a lone person calling the show. What has happened to us? Where has human nature gone?

I think human nature has endured and now has lost the game. We have left it behind in a ditch, run over like a deer in the headlights or tied it up so tight that it will never get away. Do we remember what human nature is? Maybe we better remember soon before the ship sails and we are left behind high and dry to fend for ourselves in a place we can’t find our way home.

I choose to believe in not so much being right yet to believe in our nature, one we nurture deep inside. I choose to sit and contemplate before I place a bet on who is going to win. Choosing instead the place where we all benefit. No more games of win and loose. No more adult playgrounds where the bullies reign and the others seems to ignore the outcomes. Maybe if we played the game of life for the sake of the game we would understand a lot more than we do.

Trust your guts before trusting what you may hear. Trust your faith in man before you go along for the ride. Choose a better way to get there than the one we have chosen too many times before. Let’s do what we tell our children to do. Be patient, be kind, don’t be a bully and treat everyone as equal. If everyone here has a purpose according to our beliefs how can we say they do not. It says, back through the mirror, you don’t have a purpose either. Think about that one.

I’m all in, are you?

Defending The Mirror

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I’ve come to the conclusion that I have been defending a mirror.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the bravest of them all?”

“Not you.”

So and it begins. Defending the honour, dissolving the glass image of who I “think” I am. Am I today, tomorrow or yesterday? Thats the problem, where am I when I look into the mirror? Whom am I facing, is it me as I comb my hair and not like myself or is it someone who actually is in front of me? Is it always me and the other is just a disguise? Who am I fooling?

My mind tells me it’s truth, this is who you are. Disabled, unworthy and not having a clue as to how to defend your honour, which is your true self. “Your image is likely to be more negative that positive most of the time so why try?” Can I agree with this statement or have I finally matured into a realistic way of understanding my character and not the child trying to be an adult. We all have our discomforts and our disillusions. We have all made a pretty tight contract with something greater than who we are, and that is the mirror.

I tell myself every day that I love myself because that’s what all the books tell you yet I have go deeper and believe it. Believe that I m here to break the mirror into a thousand pieces and throw it into he ocean to become sand. Thats a hard one especially when some of us are more defensive that others. (Totality is not what we want we want to keep something yet this time we can’t.) We carry two halves to a whole person. Right brain left brain, right heart, left heart, male and female energy, heaven and hell. It’s in all of us all the time. We just have to NOT dictate the reality anymore.

If life is an illusion, a set of circumstances that we can change by just erasing the story and finding a better ending, I’m all in. Repairing the heart is not being a tyrant but a compassionate person that knows when to stand their ground and when to walk away into a better life.

Be brave, be real and get out that mirror and smash into into a billion pieces so it can never be put back together. Find another mirror in which you are beautiful inside first.

Peace out. It’s almost Thanksgiving, what are you thankful for? Be grateful for all the patterns and then make a new pattern that serves you in joy.

What Do You Want From Me

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The question for today is what do you want from me? How can I please the thousands of readers that peruse the blogging world in hopes to get something interesting out of the minutes it takes them to read the blog? It concerns me. Where do our minds mingle in cooperation, to learn or to be lead down a garden path only to find no flowers and all weeds. How can I please everyone and still please myself?

Is this a place where we choose our tribes, our social circles our feed back loops? Mirrored images of thought patterns projecting words onto the page and all we have to do is agree or disagree? I’d like to feel we are all renegades here, riding as loners looking for a safe camp fire to sit around and talk. Trash talk, debating, compassionate innuendos? We are all here for what, to find something we are looking for. Can it be peace of mind, an idea that there are others that listen to us.

I will try to cheer you up with my comedic stories of pain and suffering, dumb actions and empathic healing. I ask nothing from you in return because I really write for myself. I write and then I read and it feels like automatic writing because sometimes I look back and say “you wrote that?”

Love me or leave me. Understand me, make me the mirror you stand before and smile back. I too am just words on a page that you may believe as real for a moment in your life. I am glad to serve you.

I Took A deep Breath

I took a breath and I held it in. My lungs filled with the passion of my consciousness I took in more than I thought I was capable of. I wanted to take up more yet it began to hurt, it burned inside, “why are you doing this” I commanded. Let go, I screamed let go, and out it came slowly and completely I let go of the air. I watched it as I exhaled, it looked cloudy and tainted like the thoughts I had been having all day. Things that I has held onto, thoughts I couldn’t let out through my truth. I realized I could be ashamed of what I hold onto.

As the air diminished, emptying out into the room mixing with other persons air I felt relieved. I also felt concerned because what if my issues now floated across the room mixing with an innocent persons breath and tainted theirs. No one should have my “stuff” because I don’t even want it anymore. The voice commanded that we do it again and with music motivating me to go on I took another big breath. I pushed through the pain into my diaphragm and was told to fill my lungs. I don’t know if its natural to take in all that air yet I did. I took it all in remaining as calm as I could. With each gulp I made myself say intentions of believing in myself. The intention of being worthy and love moving through me. Once again I held on for a moment and then let it out. This time I felt a flow and with that flow a tear came. I am love, and am enough to have love, I am enough love to give to all….

We repeated this numerous times until our bodies were tired physically mentally and spiritually. I couldn’t move, my muscles twitched and I was depleted. I told myself not to move and relax, allow the feel and flow of good will to move me until I could move myself. What a powerful place to be and I wanted to stay in this place forever yet we all have to get up and get going. Our personal lives awaited us outside the classroom and into the word at large.

Can we change the way we are through breathing. Can we use breath to let go through intentions to become better people? Is it possible to be different, see differently, opening ourselves up to difference? I will keep coming to these breath work classes. I want to keep working on myself having my lungs reinforce my deliverance.

I can’t wait until next time because with our breath work we get to write our own eulogy.

(I have decided to begin teachers training for this type of class and would recommend it to everyone that has trouble doing lengthy meditation classes or even meditating on your own. Breathing takes out the minds jurisdiction and helps heal the soul)

You can text me if you’d like info.

Second Hand Stoner

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And I am……

Long story, maybe, my story, absolutely because it happened to me. Maybe I shouldn’t even be telling this story in case I get offended by the idea that I can’t formulate any ideas. Where is this story going, don’t know and I think I may not care.

It’s not a long story like I may have suggested, in fact it’s just a story. It takes place at a house, on a street in a neighbourhood in my city. It’s a nice house belonging to a friend of mine whom I decided to go visit. Not having much to do I made the call and walked over for coffee. My friend greeted me with a big hug and introduced me to another friend who also happen to be visiting. No challenges and with a great cup of coffee we got into small talk easily. While I sat and played with the dog they excused themselves and went into the kitchen, myself unaware of what could be taking place.

Now I’m not a prude and my story is not in judgement or anything close, my story is how I even made it home in the condition I was in. I didn’t know I could get high from just the smoke, feel this new found freedom from nowhere and it challenged me. It’s not that I have never been in a room where people lit up I think it’s because I had not prepared myself consciously by realizing I was getting stoned.

You know it’s quite funny because when I walked home I couldn’t figure out why the colours were brighter, my mood was lighter, and the rain tickled my face when I looked up at the sky. By the time I got through the door I think it dawned on me so I called my friend and asked her the question of, am I, could I be and then “boing” ok now what.

Well the now what was simple, I threw off my shoes hung up my coat and smiled at everything. I made the best supper ever because it just tasted so good, laughed at so many shows and then decided to tell you all about it.

Never thought about the idea of second hand smoke in this way. So here we are, there I am and I can now come out as a second hand stoner.

Peace out.

I’m Trying To Grow

So when someone says to you “grow up” what is one suppose to do? I take myself as a soulful person, one that’s compassionate and empathic most of the time, so when someone says “your unconscious” it takes its toll on me.

I read lots of book, listen to audible and have my podcasts. I’m not a self help person in that respect yet I believe that I do understand what people go through and tend to respond to issues of the heart. “Stay out of it” is what I should tell myself, yet I am that person that feels for the human race. I just have that face because when I meet people the first thing out of their mouths is ” Let me tell you what happened to me.” How do you walk away from that. We all have stories, things we want to share and ideas of how they are shared. If life is an illusion and we call to us the realities we are in to learn to be better than I must say mirrors are real. Experiences can deflect us into the subconscious and give us that “mirrored” reflection, “Negative” or “Positive” and then we have reaction or action.

I know I have work to do on myself, if I didn’t I’d be a narcissist or diagnosed with DID. So “growing up” and having someone tell me to grow up, is a big thing. IS it a way of telling me to take the chip off my shoulders, put on my big persons pants and take control of my own relationship to ourself. I always try to be open yet when someone hits me from behind I will go down.

“Grow Up!” Hey give me a chance, first I want to put down roots and make sure they are strong and nourished before I can work on my self. You never will fertilize the “tree” into flower (consciousness) until you know how to fertilize everything around you.

I am growing, still learning, trying to understand who I am. One thing that I struggle with is patience to purpose, yet I’m working on that.


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When is enough, enough. Who do we say no more? It’s debatable.

Life is a debate. How we think, is debatable. How we decide is always debatable to the content we are thinking about and of course life itself is the biggest debate of all.

Now take the debate and add mediation. We can debate that one also. Who do we bring in to decide those invaluable ideas we have? Who do we trust to tell us to sway one direction or another? Where do we go once we have given the authority of the debate away to someone or something else? Where do we go from here?

We debate every moment of every day. Where has it gotten us? Oh wait that’s debatable too. The moment we open our eyes the person we choose to be is debatable and then we have to bring in the mediator to mediate our moods. Our mood, our temperament against those others that may live with us, work with us and have birthed us. I’m tired aren’t you? I’m tired of being tired of this infinite debate we put ourselves through every day. Whose right, whose wrong, where’s the person in charge so we don’t have to debate this any more. We listen, we are suppose to learn from listening yet do we? Maybe we just don’t care anymore, so debating is like putting our hand into a hat and seeing what piece of paper we pull out. Mediate, debate, mediate, I think I would like more reassurance in the process.

Now do I have an answer? Depends and that too is debatable. So my debate today is reason. To try to be reasonable to the debate as the mediator stands before me. Choices become challenges and then change happens. If one was to be neutral to the debate maybe we would actually listen to the mediator and then pick a better venue. The choices placed before us is the debate, the challenges are given to the mediator, our heart, and then of course we make up our mind and hopefully change.

Up for a debate? Anytime I love to mediate.

What Happened On The Way……

When I left home this morning I had a bed. In fact I know I had a bed because I actually made the bed. I also remember that I looked at the bed and whispered to myself how much I wanted a new bed. It’s not that I don’t like the set I have I just think it’s too dark for the room it’s in. The room is large, yet it’s naturally dark and dark on dark and heavy looking just isn’t my gig.

Anyways when I left this morning the bed was made, the room was there and all was well. Now you must be asking what is this story all about. So you had a bed, you made the bed and then you left locking the house and the bed in said house. You are correct in all facts so far, except as I left my partner was home with no mention of anything weird about to happen.

I think I was gone a few hours and during those hours nothing big happened that would make me expect a weird occurrence was about to happen. In fact the weird for me was that happened to run into 3 people I hadn’t seen in years. So I was so excited to come home and spill my beans that when I opened the door and went to put my coat away I…….

“Hey where’s the bed?” “Hello, honey I’m home.” No answer. I put my coat away thinking I must be in the wrong house so I walked outside and looked around. The neighbour had been checking her mail and waved me on. I asked her if anything strange came from my place today and she thought, “no” and walked inside. So back in I went and started to freak out. Who would break in, take only the bed, not touch anything else and lock the door after? Well my first clue was in the text I had just received. “Be home soon.” Ok, be home soon yet no word about where he was for what could be going on. I went to the bedroom and sat on the mattress, yes the mattress and bedding was there in fact the bed was neatly made. I laid back and rested my thoughts until I heard the door open.

“What the, where’s the bed.” My partner stepped back, he was about to open his mouth when the door opened again. It was my grand daughter and her boyfriend. Hmmm, what could they be doing here and I gave them a big hug resisting the dirty look I was giving to the other guy in the room. The conversation went into thank you’s and your the best and I wondered what I was the best for. Oh, then it dawned on me. My bed, I’m the best and thank you. I think someone I know decided to give our bed away. He knew I didn’t like it and I am amazed of his kindness, yet where am I going to sleep.

After company left I stood my ground and in-between anger there was love. In-between love there is joy and then I started to laugh. He looked dumbfounded for a moment and then we were both rolling on the mattress and onto the floor laughing at what had happened.

The end of my story is you never know what could happen when you leave the house, yet in a good way be surprised. Well tonight I will sleep closer to the ground and tomorrow I begin to search for a new bed. unless I like the idea of camping out for awhile, like I did when I was younger.

Have a great night and howl with laughter at the moon.