I took a breath and I held it in. My lungs filled with the passion of my consciousness I took in more than I thought I was capable of. I wanted to take up more yet it began to hurt, it burned inside, “why are you doing this” I commanded. Let go, I screamed let go, and out it came slowly and completely I let go of the air. I watched it as I exhaled, it looked cloudy and tainted like the thoughts I had been having all day. Things that I has held onto, thoughts I couldn’t let out through my truth. I realized I could be ashamed of what I hold onto.
As the air diminished, emptying out into the room mixing with other persons air I felt relieved. I also felt concerned because what if my issues now floated across the room mixing with an innocent persons breath and tainted theirs. No one should have my “stuff” because I don’t even want it anymore. The voice commanded that we do it again and with music motivating me to go on I took another big breath. I pushed through the pain into my diaphragm and was told to fill my lungs. I don’t know if its natural to take in all that air yet I did. I took it all in remaining as calm as I could. With each gulp I made myself say intentions of believing in myself. The intention of being worthy and love moving through me. Once again I held on for a moment and then let it out. This time I felt a flow and with that flow a tear came. I am love, and am enough to have love, I am enough love to give to all….
We repeated this numerous times until our bodies were tired physically mentally and spiritually. I couldn’t move, my muscles twitched and I was depleted. I told myself not to move and relax, allow the feel and flow of good will to move me until I could move myself. What a powerful place to be and I wanted to stay in this place forever yet we all have to get up and get going. Our personal lives awaited us outside the classroom and into the word at large.
Can we change the way we are through breathing. Can we use breath to let go through intentions to become better people? Is it possible to be different, see differently, opening ourselves up to difference? I will keep coming to these breath work classes. I want to keep working on myself having my lungs reinforce my deliverance.
I can’t wait until next time because with our breath work we get to write our own eulogy.
(I have decided to begin teachers training for this type of class and would recommend it to everyone that has trouble doing lengthy meditation classes or even meditating on your own. Breathing takes out the minds jurisdiction and helps heal the soul)
You can text me if you’d like info.