I’ve come to the conclusion that I have been defending a mirror.
“Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the bravest of them all?”
So and it begins. Defending the honour, dissolving the glass image of who I “think” I am. Am I today, tomorrow or yesterday? Thats the problem, where am I when I look into the mirror? Whom am I facing, is it me as I comb my hair and not like myself or is it someone who actually is in front of me? Is it always me and the other is just a disguise? Who am I fooling?
My mind tells me it’s truth, this is who you are. Disabled, unworthy and not having a clue as to how to defend your honour, which is your true self. “Your image is likely to be more negative that positive most of the time so why try?” Can I agree with this statement or have I finally matured into a realistic way of understanding my character and not the child trying to be an adult. We all have our discomforts and our disillusions. We have all made a pretty tight contract with something greater than who we are, and that is the mirror.
I tell myself every day that I love myself because that’s what all the books tell you yet I have go deeper and believe it. Believe that I m here to break the mirror into a thousand pieces and throw it into he ocean to become sand. Thats a hard one especially when some of us are more defensive that others. (Totality is not what we want we want to keep something yet this time we can’t.) We carry two halves to a whole person. Right brain left brain, right heart, left heart, male and female energy, heaven and hell. It’s in all of us all the time. We just have to NOT dictate the reality anymore.
If life is an illusion, a set of circumstances that we can change by just erasing the story and finding a better ending, I’m all in. Repairing the heart is not being a tyrant but a compassionate person that knows when to stand their ground and when to walk away into a better life.
Be brave, be real and get out that mirror and smash into into a billion pieces so it can never be put back together. Find another mirror in which you are beautiful inside first.
Peace out. It’s almost Thanksgiving, what are you thankful for? Be grateful for all the patterns and then make a new pattern that serves you in joy.