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I want to discuss Options vs Uptions.

What do you think I am going to say to you today. Options are defined as opportunities presented in many ways of which you may choose. Uptions are…… well I think I’d like to explain this a little more before I give you an answer.

When I think about options I already know what’s in my purview. I can see the focus of my intentions, the reality of my ideas as they are presented and the why of why I want to choose the option I do. Its all very realistic and all very logical. You may go through a check list to make the best choice and pick around this process and yes, sometimes one may be very spontaneous in the choice they choose in the end. What comes first the option or the idea? Do we see something first and then decide if we can have it or do we decide we want something and make the choices happen?

Uption. It’s a kinda one upping yourself when it comes to your decisions. Why not try to make the best choices before you see, hear or touch into the idea of option. Can one intuit a better option, choice or decision? Can one truly be honest about the thing wanted, in any case? This is Uption. Up the anti when it comes to want, what you want in life. Up the reason, make it a better reason than maybe would normally be made. Uption is careful, it’s truthful and it’s honest. It doesn’t necessarily make you happy in the moment yet it keeps you in the centre of your vision. Am I truly in need or is this a want because it’s a feel good thing. Feel good doesn’t last forever yet Uptions do. They are right choices, right reason and right understanding. Uptions take you farther into a future you really want, it takes you to the next level and it’s always there waiting to be chosen. You may not see Uptions like you see Options. Options are the normal range of choice, where when you Uption, you are thinking deeper and for a greater cause and the cause? Being yourself.

Option vs Options. You choose and when you do give it a minute and really think if it is an upgrade or not. That is the true definition of Uption.

Push The Button

Getting into an elevator should be quite an easy thing to do.

First you walk into the building which houses the elevator with the intention of going up. There is always purpose, an action, or a reason that the elevator could be used. In service, then you can, not in service, you use the stairs. Once you get to the doors you usually, most always push a button allowing you to wait until the numbers come to where you are. Wait time can be seconds or minutes depending on the elevator and its age. Still this should be an easy process for one to accomplish at any time. Most of the time.

Has there ever been a time when…?

Today was my turn to have use for an elevator. Once inside the front doors of the building, I walked to the elevator and noticed a family also waiting. While we were waiting another couple approached and before the elevator opened its door there was a few of us all wanting different floors. The bell chimed, the doors opened and in all its magnificent wonder we stepped inside. I always think too at this point if there could be a chance that the power could go out and here I would be stuck in this contraption without a way out, until rescued. Not today I said to myself and smiled at all the faces around me.

“Doors close”, I thought, the wait is killing me. It’s in those seconds breath held the wait intensifies. Who will push the closed door button so we can go UP. All inside someone reached out to press the floor number needed and a young girl steps up to the panel and asks politely, “mommy can I push the button?” “Of course you can” she replied and was told what number. She thought about it and lead her fingers to the panel and counted out each number looking approvingly to her mom. “Thats right, go ahead.” and she did. Now I was in the back so I waited for the next adult to push and if they pushed, then I would be silent. So a man stepped up and stretched his hand out and again the little girl said “can I push the button?” Well what was he going to say, NO? So she was told which floor and again counted out all the numbers until her mom nodded which was the correct one. Do I continue or do you get the jest of the story. We went around, the little one asking each of us for direction and pushed the appropriate button for the floor. Believe me, there isn’t a lot of floors yet you think we had. I’m not sure how long it took but I bet I could have done the floors running in less time.

The little girl looked about one last time and up we went each of us getting off at the floor we needed to be on. The family happened to get off at the floor I did and as I turned to go my way I heard ” Oh, mom that was fun.” She took a glance my way smiled and asked me in her little voice, “When are you going back down?” I smiled back unsure of the time yet I had funny feeling that when I did she would be once again waiting for all of us to go down.

I hope you all have had a great Christmas and now I can say Peace Out into the New Year.

Candle Power

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I tell you there’s nothing more heart pounding than coming home from a run seeing the fire department in front of your place. Lights in full flash mode firemen huddled in talk and some of the other owners seeming dazed, yet I didn’t sense any fear. Wasn’t sure yet, what if? I had just text my partner informing him I was on my way home and he never mentioned this?

The first thing I thought was what, so I asked. Our neighbour was outside milling about with my partner, the firemen engaged now in activity, was our building on fire? I didn’t sense any panic, so I presumed not, yet no one was telling me anything. Finally getting some answers I was told that my guy and another had heard a loud boom then the lights went out. At the very same time as I heard this one of the firemen mentioned they were off to an accident. This apparently was the cause of our dilemma. Ok, what now? Candles, do I have any? We had just done a dejunking and I’m not sure if I had kept any. I wanted to get new ones and had I? Ah, yes I remembered I had some given to me as gifts and pulled them out.

So here I am, sitting in the dark writing to you by candlelight. Ambiance yes, getting cold that’s a very hard yes. Estimated time not hours just depending. What to do now. I just realized I’m hungry. No power means no stove which means no cooking. If only we had kept our barbecue. Yes that too was given away in hopes to get a new one in the spring. Karma, hey I’ve been good, no reason to come down on me.

I guess I will make this short and sweet. On with my coat, gloves and armed with my cloth bags I’m off to the corner market to see what I can get. No sense getting something already cooked that needs to be reheated and I really don’t feel like a longer walk to restaurant row. I’m going to hope that they have sushi or Poke” and I will pick up some fruit.

Have a happy power on, lights on soon kinda evening and keep your fingers crossed, it will be sooner than later.

Peace Out.


Twas the night before the night before Christmas and all through the town all creatures were busy and there were, so many sounds. The hustle and bustle of shoppers in tow with kids that were kicking and screaming to go. Home, home sweet home, where things were much better some say it still mattered. Shows on tv and toys all a scattered. There is mom in the kitchen, still yelling at the dog and dad still at work to pay for it all. “It’s almost here” could be heard from all places and most just wanted to have beers in most cases. Some were a wrapping the gifts for the tree and others still shopping the malls, the parking lot not a place to be. Some hoped it was over before it had begun and others loved the atmosphere whatever it had become. Grandmas too were still busy this day for whose was making the desserts? The phone call came in just as she lay down to sleep better get up for there’s nothing to eat. So Christmas is coming and coming is quick. Before we know it it will be the day after, the morning after, the bills now come after and it begin, it will, all over again. Theres no rhyme, reasons we ponder, I hoped you liked it, even as you wonder, it’s 10pm do you know where you are?

Hows your day before the day before Christmas? Have a good one and as always Peace Out.

Happiness Is a Humble Pie

Today is baking day and looking at this picture I took, you may well ask yourself if I am, baked, that is.

Hahaha, naw not necessarily that kind of baker, yet please help yourself.

I gave up baking many years ago when I gave into a new view of preparing food. I found out I am a borderline celiac. So instead of trying gluten free I just don’t eat wheat or flour of any kind. One day out of the year I will bake for those around me because why cheat them out of cheating on their diets if they are on one. So of course I sat down, first mistake, to make my shopping list and according to Suzanne, the list changed numerous times. In my head everything sounds great yet will it? I doubt and then I do. I think I’ve changed my ideas at least 3 times now going from fruit tarts to cream tarts to cheese cake. What to do, she says, what to do.

Well it was easy I decided to make myself a challenge and do a few of everyone in a tart asking for the opinions of others, second mistake. I decided to use a shortbread cookie dough for the crust, yummm, and fill with a custard and another compliment to the custard. I did as my heart advised and asked for the criticism, not advised. I think I can clearly mark that as third mistake.

The tarts went fast. In fact I questioned how they could have tasted them without chewing. My mind said take the simple and now make it complicated, because it’s Christmas and I wanted to be the hit. So again I tried took the best samples and added a condiment of walnuts to the banana cream, blueberries to the vanilla cream and coconut to the already coconut cream. Then I wanted a chocolate one so I made chocolate cream tarts. I’m a mess, mentally and physically. My mind is overcome with choices and my tummy is devastated from trying the tarts and being a no dairy no wheat person. Yet I’m done and so are all my tarts. Tomorrow I will begin again for real as these ones will be put away for the Christmas supper. I will be anxious, stressed and hopefully surprised at the outcome. No crumbs left on the plate and everyone a gooey mess.

So to day I baked, and those around me I found out were baking too. Baked bakers all in a row and how did I know? Well when the grins come out and they ask for more after way too many I know. So it’s now time to sit back, kick back and relax as I am way to full do clean up, too tired to put away the baking and wishful for some elf to come along and do it when I sleep.

Good night one and all. Oh I forgot it’s movie time and the movie tonight is White Christmas followed by the Grinch. Peace out and enjoy your baking.

The Things You See On A Walk

It’s finally stopped raining. The rain has been pretty steady now for about a week and today is the first day I could unbutton my feathers and rubber boots and go outside without coming back looking like a wet seagull. I was out the other day and it took me 3 days to dry my runners to where I could wear them again. Crazy west coast weather as always. Want to live in the Pacific North West? Become a duck.

So as I said it’s the first day without rain gear, hoods and wet feet. The sun had come out and being me I took advantage of the spirit of the day. It was a kind of get out and explore kinda day venturing out to the neighbourhoods I don’t necessary get to all the time. I passed through a construction zone, new to me, and a trailer park, I wanted to see what they were up too. I love my city on good days and wonder why I live here on the not so good. Today was in the middle, a mixed bag of do I or don’t I care, thoughts and driven directions.

Stopping home for a brief bathroom visit, I continued on my way with no direction in mind. So far so good. My time was on and my mood still bright I decided to grab my library book, a few dollars and do some errands on my way through the city core. Down toward the heli-jet and around the new park area I came across the new area where the city has been upgrading empty lands. Looks great and what a great idea since our small city seems to be growing. Toward the downtown I ran through the backside of the Port Theatre. Small groups of people stood around some homeless and some helping them out, I hope. I think we were all a little happy about the rain stopping and it showed in the numbers that I crossed paths with.

Through the streets I ran, did what I needed to do and decide to go home. A great day so far. Peaked into the casino and waved to the gentleman at the door remembering I had a few bucks on me yet I moved on. Still having things to do I started home.

So now here I am with the title in hand, what did I see that was so unusual today. Not the seagulls scrapping for food, not the hot heads who drove through the puddles getting me wet and not the Christmas shoppers waiting in long lines making noises under their breath. What did I see.

Just about home I came across a caravan of homeless people shopping carts in tow. Where were they going I thought, always a feeling in my heart for their personal tragedy. They were huddled in a small parking lot seeming to have a conversation amongst themselves. As I looked up on my side of the street I noticed one young man also with cart in tow standing beside the fence of a city lot with the biggest grin I could imagine seeing. What was he up to I thought? I panned the area and noticed he was diligently working on removing a private no access sign that was welded to the fence. Ok, I thought, it will take him a long time with the small knife he seemed to be using. He kept one eye on the fence and one eye on me smiling the whole time. I watched also the other side of the street and the gathering there. They too seems to be watching. I walked on waving my have a good day hand sign and headed home still in a boggle as to what I observed.

Well I think he thought he could cut through the heavy chain link fence let his friends in and they could make a plan to stay. Good luck because as I crossed the street I think maybe they were about to get caught.

A day in the life. Thoughts are like magnets and I hope the message I send to them was to own themselves and try to find a better opportunity to find shelter than a vacant lot where they would be chased out. The young man felt he was problem free and why would he want to be like me. I had bills to pay, children to raise, decisions to make over my future and a job to hold down. He was happy living in the moment and he had no worries.

You know that made me ponder. Maybe I need to downsize my thinking and think smaller to think bigger. Peace out.

Spinning A Tale

Take a dog and turn it around. What does it do, it spins its tail. Take a person and give it time to think and it too will spin you a tale. Dogs spin because it thinks its got something to chase, we spin because, well…… we sometimes lose our axis. Christmas is the time of year when stories abound. Fictional ones like Frosty, and Rudolph, real ones like Home Alone. Christmas is changing, we find less of joy and good cheer and more of conscientious shoppers. People willing to bust their butts on the best deal and not wanting to deal with the reality of our times.

Spinning tales of joy and laughter, singing around the tree and family isn’t so much any more. The better tail is the one we chase. The tail that has credit card debt attached to it and desires to chase around until we no longer have faith in ourselves. We get dizzy from the circles, the constant motion of emotional turmoil. Do we or don’t we be extravagant this year. Who are we in A Christmas Carol? Are we Jacob Marley? Do we live in Purgatory (England) and are we ready to repent? Do our stories involve 3 ghosts that can take us through the journey to an ending that heals or is the dog still chasing its’ tale?

I will spin you a tale, a tale of imaginary proportions. A spinning tale that begins with small circles and grows with each image of my imagination. My tale is tall, and long, yet short in duration. It has a beginning and an ending and I sometime get dizzy just thinking about how I will tell it. My Christmas, my town, my tail.

It begins with Santa he’s a fireman and he has a fire truck. On Christmas Eve he decides to give his reindeer a break and use the truck to deliver presents to the neighbourhood kids who made the list. The list consisted of the children of the other volunteer firemen who worked with him at the firehouse. The firehouse became Santas workshop one night out of the year and after gathering all the presents, the elves and Santa sat down for a few beer before they began their delivering of gifts. The families gathered too in their warm houses, in their neighbourhoods and waited for the time to begin. Christmas cheer was a motivator of joy on this night and every parent couldn’t wait for the clock to chime the time.

One by one they waited at the door and watched for the text message to arrive. For each it would be time as Santa would drive up in his firetruck and deliver a prearranged present for each boy or girl. Santa soon mounted his sleigh ( the pumper truck) with his elves hanging on, he started his trek down the local streets. Sirens blaring and lights glaring, for those who didn’t know came running outside to see where the fire was and for those who did the Christmas jig had begun. For Santa it was cookies, and milk sometimes beer or a shot. It was a jolly time and soon Santa had to be driven because he had too much Christmas cheer.

On arrival at the last house, the sirens were louder and the lights brighter. It was Santa’s own house and he was excited to be home. Out of the truck he ran shouting Merry Christmas and Ho HO HO waiting for the door to open and the wide eyes of his children before him. It all happened, the wonder, the surprise and the presents. As he walked down the stairs his youngest son pulled on his red suit and asked Santa why he was in the firetruck and not his sleigh. Santa didn’t know how to answer and before he could the little boy gave him his dad’s pager and told him to drop the presents because the truck was needed at a fire. Waving goodbye to Santa and Santa waving back trying not to laugh to loud his son yelled, “thanks but next time leave the firetruck for the firemen. “

So spin you a tale I did. Is it true, well it wouldn’t be a tale if I told you now would it. Now it’s time to get the dog and get him to chase his tail and spin for me.

Merry Christmas to All. Peace Out.

Todays Motivation

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Todays motivation was pretty simple, nothing more than get through the day without any interference. What kind of interference? The kind that makes you yell silently or grunt verbally. The kind that gets you looks from the kids when the F bomb goes off multiple times without your knowledge and the delays when you don’t have the time to wait.

Todays motivation was to smile. Smile at all the drama the I would meet, challenge myself to respect the doubt I had for my well being and to make sure that I wore my raincoat.

I did remember my raincoat yet I forgot to remind myself of everything else. Heres how it went:

I left the driveway and almost got hit by someone doing over the speed limit. There was pause in slow motion as he drove past mouth open justifying he was still alive and not dead. I fought off not answering my bluetooth car monitor as someone called me three times and hung up just as I pressed the answer button. Getting the kids was easy until we stopped at the post office to mail Christmas cards and I couldn’t find my debit card. I emptied my purse on the counter to the dismay of the person and persons behind me smiling my, be present smile at all of them. Now I began to freak out privately as I paid for my stamps and moved on. I had the full attention of the kids because somehow their awesome Grandma had gone from she’s awesome to she”s weird. What can I say, I’m having a day I promised myself if this day ever happened I’d be cool about it. HAHAHA.

Next on the list was the drive to the last place I remembered using it. Also the phone call home to have my partner search my wardrobe pockets just in case. (Oh this is a first for me, I’m pretty anal about my cards and have never lost one before) No good comes when I’m stressed. The kids sat quietly with the iPads while I figured things out getting no where. So we hustled our butts to the bank. The bank was of course busy and only 2 tellers on board so wait I did and as I waited my grandson informed me he didn’t feel well. Great, and oh he may throw up. Hands in the air I prayed he would not and took care of business. All day, all done. Yes, no not quite yet. Once I cancelled my card I felt relief yet I had promised the kids a hot chocolate before home. So off we went to Tim Hortons. Busy, of course! In a line up with only 2 line workers of course. So here it is folks the moral of the story. Make sure you ask the little one if she has to pee before getting in line because as soon as you get close she will. So off we went to the bathroom and when we were done I had to go to the end of the line. They were all new faces with no recollection of my face in line anywhere. Shall I go on. Naw, I think you get the picture. We had another stop before home and I got through that one ok.

Home and relax, you think. Didn’t take long before I heard a small voice from behind say to me ” Grandma, wheres my hot chocolate?” I counted 2 as we left yet only one was in the house. Maybe I should believe in ghosts and goblins because I knew I had brought 2 in. In the end mom came home and found it on the washer downstairs. How it got there well no one seemed to know.

So I’m home now and have no intention of leaving my couch until tomorrow and we will see what the day brings. Don’t hold your breath because I’m sure the tale will be tall and life will be one big ball of laughter. Peace out my friends and Merry Christmas.

Better, Better Why?

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Hello, Hello, anyone home?

It’s an echo I hear every day all day in my head. Do I chose to hear what I hear because I’ve asked or do a get a message that was prerecorded sometime awhile ago. I hear an echo and the echo is real, isn’t it. What I feel is what I need. What I want is what I deserve, Yes?

Is there a better way, better why? Thats the answer I think I want to hear from now on. The question should have another question attached to it. The better is better because, then pause? What do you hear when you pause. Is it your breathing? Is it your heart beating? How about the blah, blah of the hum drum of the mind as it spills out into your thoughts. The mind is like a creek small and unintentional making its way threw the twist and turns of ways we think. At some point is widens out incorporating other thoughts and other ideas all with the intention of getting to the river. We find as we get closer to the river the water rushes faster, our thoughts are more consuming yet we haven’t yet decided anything. More thoughts come and a determination to make up your mind. The mouth of the river is getting closer to the ocean yet what will it find?

What the mind forgot was the fact that weeds get in the way of flow. That rocks and gravel move us around in directions that may not be as straight as the outcome in intended. We don’t fore see the ideas that won’t work or the way we had done it and cannot anymore. The creek has dried up, the river has turned on itself and there is not a predestination any more.

Where will we go, what will we do? Is better, better than before? How can we know when we don’t remember what was better or not? We ring around the circle thinking better yet sometimes it’s an illusion. So next time decide if better, is better, or not. That maybe it is just change is the best and that is what we should be betting on.

And…. All I Want For Christmas

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Christmas is almost here, let the joy of shopping begin. It always begins for me, by me, saying “oh this year I will give money,” and always ends by me freeking out because maybe money is just not that happiness look I want to have as my envelope is opened. Can’t win, yet never lose when it comes to Christmas. Always with the best of intention it brings out in us the worst of insecurities. “What do you want?” “Where’s the list so I know what to get?” “Are you out of your freeking mind?” Yup.

I always ask for a list even though I may give money. Been there done that and even my most unique gifts come out with an ???? from the person I am gifting. Hey I give great gifts ask the kids who now have their own kids yet it may not feel that way. Sometimes I do theme which I think is ingenious. For the family that camps well I tend to look at what they don’t have and if theres vacation coming I may go that route. Makes sense to me yet what I don’t understand is that we always seem to want what we really don’t need or we care about after the fact.

Lists. Sticky notes, perfect cards that depict the perfect person, why do I try so hard?

Well I will tell you. Bring on the pages of lists, the sticky notes attached to my mirror, the messages for the numerous things the kids may want. Call me every day and tell me what you bought so I can get the other. Do it all and guess what 9 times out of 10 I will still do my own thing and do it wth pleasure. I love Christmas, I love being on the naughty list because I didn’t get what I was told to, I just like being me. Crazy and cool, what the F..ck did you get that for and all the rest. So bring on all the gift ideas you can throw at me and you will get from me something that is you in return. I see the beauty, the love and the passion and try to match it with those I gift. Hey and if it turns out to be money even though the first reaction is “what” “I thought I asked for….” you will thank me later when your short for something you really want.

Peace out and enjoy the crazy because boring January is almost here.