I’m sitting on the edge of an abyss. What am I doing here I ask myself? Why am I sitting here looking down on the edge of nowhere? Could I be trying to find somewhere? I’m suppose to fall if I remember, fall into an abyss of cloud and mist, letting myself free fall into nowhere. Nowhere always becomes somewhere, is it a here or an else that I see?
I’m now standing at the edge of a mountain ledge looking down. I can see where I was and now am. If I look up there is no where to climb unless I get a ladder to the clouds. Like Jack I will climb my beanstalk. My toes are planted on the edge curled into the rock that supports me. My centre of gravity is at my knees because I’m abut to surrender myself to the gods of the sky. Can I remember why I climbed so high? Should I forget the fact that the only way down is to fall?
My lungs fill with the agitation of less oxygen and I take another. I’m solo up here no one else felt like taking the risk, I did. Hands to the sky I salute my life in accordance to a plan that I initiated at birth. I told myself I would climb the highest mountain and upon reaching the top I would free fall to a life unknown. I hope that softness of the heart is forgiving. The top of the trees protecting and my body able to be manipulated back in shape afterwards. One more look and I count to three. I release my body to the abyss and I fall. I can see forever and I hold onto that minute for as long as I can. I again count to three and release the ripcord. Up I go a mile a second until I float down. What a rush for the body, a feeling of being ripped from my senses and freedom for the soul.
Life feels like being on the edge of an abyss right now. An abyss of choices and challenges in which we will never be the same again.
Peace out my friends and enjoy a new freedom of finding yourself once you go back outside.
Hey remember the book Stranger In A Strange Land? If you do, you may relate to what I’m about to write.
I woke up tis morning feeling like a stranger in a strange land. I know it is Saturday I thought yet it doesn’t seem like Saturday. I got up and looked outside and yup I was still in my neighbourhood. The trees were still there and the sidewalk and the trains yet where are the typical Saturday noises. I pinched myself and knew I am alive and then I remembered what has happened. The noises of Saturday morning are gone. There’s no one outside, no cyclists buzzing by and no dogs on leashes. Normal has become strange and even the strange which sometimes occurs has become insane. I am a stranger in a strange land. A land of distances required to stay alive, masks to hide our smiles and no healthy socializing. I’ve landed in a alternate world where I don’t feel like I belong. Long gone are the walks on the beach, the rides in the mountains on my bike and the coffee gossip hour I looked forward to with my friends. You can hear a pin drop at night, no signs of activity and no sirens to alert you of danger.
I am a martian. I may not look like one yet I feel like one. Getting up and getting going is gone, hectic has become a lot of time to spare, so strange. I wonder if language will change? The language of the heart as people become scared, afraid of even saying hello. No smiles to engage in, no hope for tomorrow, not even a feeling someone has our back.
I will make a tea, sit in my sweats and stare with a vacancy I feel inside. If it’s nice out I will open my window to hear the birds sing and the ocean touch the shore, sometimes these sounds go unnoticed. If someone walks by and waves at me and I will wave back, No rush to call those I love and I can find peace of mind as I wait it out. I’m going to take the time that I have been given to figure it all out. I will take a vacation from my mind and find hope and faith deep inside. I will remember those that have come and gone and see what the future brings with an open eye.
With cup in hand and a fresh homemade bun I say cheers to the morning sky, to the clouds and sun. I voice to the universe, this strange planet I have hopped off on that I am, here and awaiting instructions. I am a stranger in a strange land, which I will get to know and once I do I promise to take care of it better than I have before.
So what do we do next? How can we think about tomorrow when today our every day lives are falling apart? Do we look around questioning whose”s next? I think we do. Next is next year, next is next moment next may be never. So what do we do next, when next may never come. Can we breathe in the face of all this fear? Can we hug our loved ones and tell them it’s going to be ok? Are we ok? How do we sleep at night when we hear the loud conversations from the house next door, the apartment above us or on the streets? Can we save anyone, especially the children who are drawn into something they never asked for.
I’m not afraid but maybe I should be. I’m more afraid for the children. The souls that are so innocent to our fears, our anger and our regret. Those little beings that look up to us and what do we say to them now? How do we tell them we will get through this when we don’t even know. How do tell those adults who are so glued to the tv, the liquor bottle or the pills they take that they should stop and see the fear in their children’s eyes. We all need to stop. Stop our self guilts, our the worthless issues we all created because we “never thought this could happen”. Sometimes I want to yell at everyone and say “stop being entitled.”
I know I’m stressed. I know I want to save everyone yet how can I when I only see people worried about their expensive life style and not their Childs suffering. We need to get a grip here and look down and kneel down before them and say I’m sorry.
I’m going to rent a bus go around and pick up those children that are hiding under the bed while their parents fight, tell them to come and I will feed them, cloth them and teach them a better way. God bless the little children have we forgotten.
Well peace out my friends. Sorry for this but my heart is breaking.
What makes you laugh? Do you laugh anymore or is your time taken up by all the fears that we now face. Can we find a smidgen of smile, open mouth all out gut wrenching laughter when we most need it? Maybe we feel it’s wrong to laugh, wrong to be happy or unnatural to love? Hmmmmm?
Laughter is the best medicine. I know that, you know that, our mothers used to tell us that all the time. Laugh when your down, smile the blues away, make time to feel your guts jiggle while you can’t stop laughing. Life is still happening, it hasn’t left us. Maybe we have temporarily left life, living in a present hell. Well who wants to live in this present moment you might say. Right here, right now are you still breathing? Are you still loving of your family? Maybe you are still healthy. There’s so many things to be grateful for and one of those things is laughter in our darkest moments. Laugh, when you hear a bad joke, enlighten your life by smiling at your child, I’m sure your fear is they’re fear also. Say a few times a day, “love loves through me.”
I will end this conversation with a small tale I will tell. It happened to me the other day as I went out to get bird feed at our local feed store. As I entered the store, using social distancing of course, I decided to walk around a bit as the store was mostly empty. They had some new gardening products out and of course all those little things that do make you smile. The small little plants ready to take home, the many cute birdhouses and of course anything else one needs for their home or farm. I decided to walk down the garden tool isle and I noticed a new lawn rake just put out. It stood out because it was bright red instead of dull green and have longer prongs. Picking up this rake I looked at it as if it was to become my new best friend then noticed the name of the company. It read, made by Corona. Come on I thought it was a joke and as I thought that very thing I noticed one of the girls looking at me. All she did was confirm with a head shake and a smile that it was true. The company is real and has made farm tools for a long time. I started to laugh and it made others look my way. We all took turns with social distancing to take a picture and laugh into our covered hands. Made my day and I still think about it all the time.
So laugh damnit, smile until your cheeks hurt. Make goofy faces when all you want to do is cry. Show your strength through the storm we face by sending out smiles to all you know. Tell your kids a stupid joke from your childhood in fact get down and have a tickle fight. One second of laughter will make the difference your body feels in it’s own fight with this virus. Believe me happiness heals the worse times.
Peace Out once again. Sending smiles and hearts to all. Let me know if your have a story let’s spread the laughter around.
Rain brings sanity. Drops of water falling down, drip drop on the window panes of life, bringing insanity to the quietness of the day. You can look at it either way yet it’s still rain. Water cleanses the pain of fearful thoughts, it washes away the pain of inner stillness.
We aren’t used to stillness. We haven’t had a long relationship with the quiet that comes as the mind evaporates. We are regulated to noise, enveloped in activity and most of the time we are crazy filling our head with ideas to keep us busy. What do we do with the long hours of nothingness? Nothing to do, no places to go, to take over the time we have to think about what we don’t want to think about. What is that something we don’t want to think about?
What does it take to discover ourselves? It takes a quiet moment, a moment of rain. The rain of sanity as it washes away the grime we have accumulated inside. It drips and rolls down the panes of glass as the window stares outward and we stare back seeing the true reflection of us. The rain brings a steady drone or hum that magnetizes our minds liken to a production line of same thinking. The stories that are so interbred, we can’t remember why or where they began. As rain can clean away the dust so can the sanity the rain, bring peace to the mind.
Social distancing requires people yet solitary drops require more drops to make a thunder storm. Rain heals the distance between us and them. Stand outside and believe that there is sanity in the rain as it hits your face and you laugh. Play tag with the rain drops try and see if you can walk in-between. First you need to be insane and then you know.
Rain is the sanity we need right now. The rain that cleanses the dust and winter blues. Rain that makes the grass grow and the tulips bud. Sanity comes as the clouds part and you can see beyond the rain and see the healing of the sun and summer coming.
Peace out and let the sanity of the rain come down. Let the insanity of these times move away like Winter into Spring, where once again we can see the healing of the days to come.
It’s about time. It’s about no time clocks and appointments.It’s about time spent for anything we want to do with it. It’s about alone time and time spent without others. It’s about sometime in the future when things will be normal. It’s about what is normal and what will never be the same again.
It’s abut time to bake cookies with our kids. It’s about time to do what time never allowed. It’s about time to unwind with our feet up, read a book, get caught up on a series or play cards and too while away the time. It’s about time we share, time we make and time we can trade for better days.
What’s on your time menu? How will you spend the time you now have? Get up and get time off your mind. There’s enough time now for all of us to understand what it’s like to be without time restrictions. What time is it? Who cares. Make time for your family and get whatever you want done, done.
For me it’s taco’s and time out. Time for me to have fun making, creating and sitting down with the people I love. To laugh, love and make funny faces. To say I have all the time in the world to forget about all those little things that got in the way. To say, “It’s about no time limit.” I have been procrastinating abut playing the guitar, now I have time. That crazy long book that has gathered dust, guess what I’m reading it. I pruned some plants today, I think they would thank me if they could.
Take the time, you have the time, believe that time has given us the gift of time to remember who we are and why we are here.
What DO I say? How can I express to all of you what words are on my mind.
I struggled the morning as to what to write about. Media is such a strong front right now for a lot of people expressing their negatives and or their positive views. So how does one puruse this arena of choice words and interpretations and keep us all in the right mood. WE love to express our thoughts, our intentions, our moods yet we sometimes forget what we are really wanting to say. What do we say to the millions that come here to find some solace in the pause in their life. We are all in our own void, a black hole that we have had no choice than to go into. Our ship has lost power, our motors are burnt out and our faith has fallen into a sink hole.
What do I say? I want to be helpful. I want to give the advice everyone wants to read yet are we ready for the truth. So what truth do I have to offer? Truth is personal, truth can break your heart and yet truth can be uplifting once we get to know it better. We have all lived busy lives, lives filled with to do lists that are really empty reality. A bucket list that could be emptied right now and filled later with positivity. Ideas and feeling felt in a way we have not experienced in our lifetime. I want to say its a complete “let go” of the way we were and a understanding of what could be next.
How can we even begin to understand it? Again this is something I have struggled with. All those self help books we are running to read are not available to help us with this. Judging, blaming, shaming is not the way to go and meditation may not help those who have never meditated before. I believe the only source we can find information in right now is the mirror. Yup, the mirror. Honesty, compassion and love through the mirror image. I can’t imagine some of the things people are going through right now. Yet I do know where we can start. Stop worrying about the appointments cancelled for non necessary things we all do. I did. We can all exercise in the fresh air and keep social distance. We can be social with the people we love, those we forget about when life happens. I know I’ve said it before but I bet if you ask your family one thing about themselves you will be amazed at the information that will flow. You will hear yourself saying, “OH, I didn’t know that?” You will be amazed. We can face the mirror stare at the person lost and get to know them again.
Mirror mirror on the wall can I get through this? Yes you can, we can and we will. We will come together with a new perspective based on what is realistic for our growth and not the unrealistic expectations we have allowed to weed our personal gardens. We will once again reach out to our neighbours and friends asking for compromise and peace of mind, cooperation and happiness. Let’s not allow entitlement and envy control our voices. Do not give fear a bigger piece of the pie.
I am here for you. I am you and you are me. Equal and yet different. There’s always a reason and now we have the choice to find out why.
Peace out and send it outside. The mirror is calling, go find out what it has to say.