What's in a Smile

What’s in a smile. Today I found out that a smile is truly a smile. Sometimes laughter has our mouths open, teeth bared and joy in our hearts. Sometimes a wide grin can replace the thought of fear or possibly an indecision turning it into a remedy for a better way. Sometimes we just need to bare it all and smile in whatever way we want. Smiling foils the thief, lips pursed upwards can change an attitude in a moments time and if you giggle in return of that smile well guts can wrench and even pain can temporarily be replaced.

Today I had a crooked smile. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to show my true self. Yet somehow I don’t remember telling myself to be numb to the joy that life brings. I ate a nut, why I ate a nut I’m not sure but I ate one. Now I know nuts are good for me, healthy alternatives to other snacks and I also know that I just shouldn’t have had one. Well maybe one but not the handful I had. You see right in the middle of a joke I took a large bite of a Brazil nut and cracked my front tooth. Saturday night tooth fright. Sunday would have to be a what to do about it day and for sure I will wait until tomorrow to call the dentist. As days go so has mine. Wasn’t sure how I could pull off a hockey game and not smile, not shout, not cheer on the team I was about to see play. There were people I knew, people I didn’t and children running all about. Funny though I forgot all about my cracked front tooth.

We cheered, so did I, we smiled and so did I. I forgot I had a cracked tooth and maybe if others saw it they maybe thought I did it playing a sport. I’m always out doing something. I came home and looked in the mirror reminding myself that I looked different. Funny though how that works because I actually thought I looked ok. So the heck with a closed mouth, a sloppy sad face. Bring on the joy and the laughter. Show me the smiles and the grins. I like me whatever I look like, at any time I look alike. I’m just thankful It doesn’t hurt.

Another day to say peace out. Peace Out.

When In Doubt Bird Watch

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Theres a party going on outside. Through the window I can see a gathering commence. One by one they fly in, nestle down on a ledge and wait. What are they waiting for I wonder? Some drop down onto the Buddha head and perch, others find a branch of a low hanging tree and seem too look directly into the window. Am I the caterer, the seed guy? Maybe they think theres another party inside as they can see their reflection on the pane of glass. More flock down, some red, some brown, some with more black on their wings. I wish I knew bird language maybe I’d be able to find out why they are celebrating.

Someone opens the door and they all fly up in unison. they swirl around and once again landing in different places. The gathering about to commence one starts to sing and they all join in. One by one hopping closer to the window looking in to see if anyone is home. Did I feed them today?

I see the party is about to become diversified. There are 2 black squirrels dancing about to the music the birds are making. We place hidden nuts inside the cement lions on the deck and they are playing hide and seek. The birds are too busy with their own gossip they don’t seem to mind.

My mind is wandering about as I watch and write at the same time. One eye on the screen and one on the scene outside. It’s getting late and I wonder how late they will stay. Will they keep going after dark or is there such a thing as bird curfew? I guess I will find out. Bird watching is a great distraction from the normal, every day multi tasking of the mind. It makes one realize what really is important and is over thinking really a good choice.

So it’s peace out and I will continue to watch the birds until they turn out the lights and find a better place to go until the sun shines again.

Shhhh

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Can you hear the quiet? The snow makes no sound, no noise, not a minute amount of interference. I wish that my mind could understand the concept of no sound. I find that not a lot of people get snow. Not a lot get rain either but snow is frightening, it interferes with the day, the time and the appointments. Even if you have nothing going on it takes you to the misery theatre where you dress for cold, get out the shovel and plow away in frustration. There are no snowmen, no snow angels in an adults world theres only snow finger. It’s peaceful outside. It’s the present moment when you can engage in your most inner thoughts, head down, all bundled up getting to where you are going. You can wander down memory lane, make decisions that have been put off and ignore the people whom you may run into because, “Oh sorry I didn’t see you.”

This is the second day of snow here. From what I understand the weatherman apologized. No snow was predicted here. It’s cold, the snow is fluffy and I’m always in amazement of how beautiful it is. It is clarity for my eyes, tickles for my nose and something for my shoes to kick in delight.

I got outside and took a walk through the neighbourhood. Waved at the people, even the grumpy ones. Conversed with others who didn’t even mention politics today. Everyone had the snow to complain about. Not a lot of wanderers out today. Most were running for buses or huddled in coffeeshops. Some were in the park with kids and toboggans in tow and I smiled.

What a day to get away and still be here. Now it’s time to come back to reality. I came home to a loud house, CNN on in the background, and hunger in the eyes of all I came home too. I love my life. I hope you love yours too. Whatever the weather, whatever the choices, embrace some joy and dance.

Peace Out.

Snow Day

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Snow days. No school, great, whose going to watch my kids. Snow days, awesome, how do I get to work. Snow days, yup, the buses aren’t running on all the roads, walking is out of the question. Snow days, snowy days not so much.

We all chant snow at Christmas time for what would it be without the white stuff. We think it’s cool on the west coast to have it snow yet do we really? Snow on the mountain for sure, snow if it’s your day off, bring it on, otherwise stay the heck away. Would we rather have rain? Sometimes unless the wind is howling and the storm drains aren’t plugged. Are we ever happy?

Today is a snow day. I woke up this morning too see it coming down, beautiful I said as I reached for the coffee. Ten minutes later it wasn’t so cool, annoyed I thought now how am I suppose to get out. I may be making it sound like feet yet here by the water, salt water, as it comes down it freezes, snows and freezes again. Caution signs everywhere and roads closed to stop those who can’t drive, not drive.

Snow days, it’s suppose to last a few days then rain is the forecast again for weeks to come. Snow day, whoo-ray, the kids are happy there’s a snow day, and they can bring out the dusty toboggan. Parents do the snow hustle as someone has to be the lucky one and call into work. Businesses close because of no traffic and me I will put on my boots dress warm grab my headphones and head out. Where will I go, hummm, no plan just a walk about, kick snow in the snow day and find place to have coffee. I will listen to the complaints, the drudgery, and the mayhem that comes from the breaking auto glass. I will then head home grab a few blankets and be a couch hog. I will choose to complain about the news and anything else until I decide to make supper. Snow food is there such a thing? Comfort at it’s finest. Call for pizza, not delivery they are snowed in.

Snow days, they are to embraced, snow days they are to be allowed because whose in charge? Mother Nature of course.

No Accident

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If there are no mistakes and no accidents then how do I explain it. How does one define probability when it looks like a coincidence. Can we measure something called serendipity by a mathematical equation? Do we just believe.

I don’t seem to have an argument when it comes to explaining how things happen, they just do. So when it comes to the explaining of “there are no mistakes” and it involves something undeniable then how can I say “there are no accidents?

Accidents happen, mistakes are made, I believe that to be a correct statement. Yet to say there is always a reason and that reason being a little on the extraordinary it is not that easy to just shrug it off as” meant to be”. If today were any other day then it would be no mistake that today is today. One is the moment or in “the Now” then it has reason to be believed. Then again if an experience has happened and it’s unbelievable how can I believe? How can I say it happened for a reason?

My reason for bringing this up is arbitrary yet as I say it and then put an action to it, I have found it takes the wind out of the action. You cannot judge, blame or shame another for something meant to happen. If something happened and you believed it happened because there are “no accidents” then it kinda makes it a forward thought. It becomes acceptable and in the process workout-able. We can work on things that are not mistakes, we have to don’t we?

I wake up and see the weather inclement, of course it’s not a mistake even if the weatherman got it wrong. If someone starts a war and it’s said to be no mistake or accident then I would have to take it to another level of thought and find reason for it. There are reasonable explanations, there also is the higher power that does it for our own good. Maybe we just need to start excepting that what is in front of our noses is there to make us aware.

Can we do better? I would hope so. Can we move forward even in times of stalemates? I would hope so. I would hope that on any day when someone of us is faced with a decision and takes the stance that “this is no accident, or mistake” we would have to really think about why. Why not have the patience to understand in a little understood world.

I will not take for granted my accidents, when they may make me think deeper, be more conscious and acknowledge that things are for a reason even if I don’t yet understand.

I choose to live in the moment that something happens, strange or not, take into consideration the process of acknowledging the possibilities for growth and be forward in my thinking. We are small in the bigness of our universe. We are just one link in the chain of command and to survive is up to us.

Peace out and it’s cold outside.

The Learning Curve

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Learning curves sometimes send you spinning like curve balls. I’m always amazed when I see a pitcher throw one and you hear “Strike”

Learning curves in life of course are so different. These little annoyances come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. I have 10 fingers and just about as many curve balls today. What one does with a learning curve is, well I guess learn. Learning though is not like swinging a bat and then going to tomorrows practice, having one curve ball after another come at you. Life’s learning curves are never understood. They are never anticipated or given in warning. Sometimes you may understand the concept and other times you may be asked, how many times you banged your head trying to figure them out.

Today could have been a day that if I could have maybe I should have never woke up. Not dead kind of not wake up but sleep the learning day away in hopes that the next day it went to the back of the line. It’s night now and I can sit back and reminisce about the day. I can shake my head in wonder of how I got through it and to also acknowledge that next time the learning is not the learner. I don’t think I need to bother you with a long line up of innings although I can give you the wrap up and summary.

I happen to have a condo, about 900 square feet and we have 4 bikes, (All needed for different activities). One bedroom no storage for my unit and although it’s a great space the quest is what does one do? We had them on the ground and up in the air hanging like pictures. It seems we have been moving in for months because this hadn’t been solved. I decided today was the day when I opened my eyes , that once and for all it would be figured out. So coffee in hand, partner lagging behind, I began. We moved the bed from place to place took the bikes off the walls and tried. We agreed and sat, whimpered and argued. Yet we are still alive. We decided to keep them down rearrange the room and find the answer another day. Both of us learned that this curve ball was a great place to debate and to sense what another wanted. That was only the beginning. The rest was for me and like I said I will skip the line and end my story with “last but not least”. I was notified today that I am as good as celiac as anyone can be my sensitivity level is like 99%. (Great, I know and have known yet to get the paperwork it is another curve ball).

So tonights homework is to figure it out. It’s not that I have to start at first base because I am already wheat free and mostly dairy, (I’m lactose too). Gee, talk about functionality, I guess they missed me completely when certain bodily functions were put in place. So internet here I come. We are sitting next to each other, hockey on in the background, no more news, and each searching out the days events. He for a bike stand that will incorporate the bikes and me on recipes for junk food days that are gluten and dairy free. Still smiling and whole in heart learning curves sometimes are of value.

Feel free to send me recipes or bike stands if you want all is appreciated. Peace out people and let those learning curves come but be sure you practice the hit and make it a home run.

Are We Done Yet?

Are we done yet? I mean are we really done yet?

I want to get back to living and not accessing, I want to wander back down the beach with not a care in the world, without a conversation about this or that, if you know what I mean. Yada Yada is all I hear. “Coffee?” “No, have to stay connected to the news!” “Really?”

Let’s head down to the beach and finish the driftwood lean to we started? Maybe if I told you it’s our new bomb shelter you would say yes. I’m so done, done like TV dinners. No more tv time, no more cell phone info at the table, gee look at your plate supper is getting cold. Did you know if we never use our tongues they will just drop out of our mouths? I want to get back to reality. The days of paying bills, choosing clothes and boring gossip that filled my ears way too much. I want to have less time for tv, no chance to catch the interviews and breaking news that block the programs I do like to watch. I want to get the hell out of Dodge. You think this was the wild Wild West once more.

I could stand here all day and give my point of view, that being a waterfront with the ferry going by. I still have the lean to waiting to be finished, oh wait, nope too late the tide just took it away. Just like my freedom to tell the news people to F…ck off and give us some truth. There are animals dying in another country, do we care? There are earthquakes and people without hydro, do we care? There is obesity that is killing our children, do we care?

This is the reality I think we are neglecting. This is the cycle I would like to break. In fact if anyone wants an earful come on down and I will take you to the beach and we can fill our ears with sand, jump into the ocean and let the star fish tickle our feet. No tv, no news no care in the world except for one brief minute we once again feel alive and in love with our selves.

Peace out and have a good night.

p.s. at least tonight I can avoid the news because we have hockey to watch.